Flashbacks
by Shelna
Summary: Five years after the fatal day, the only real Marauder left is bothered by uncontrolled flashbacks from lost times of the past. Includes scenes like Sirius first holding Harry and stuff blowing up in James face, literally.


Flashbacks, by Timo Wilder.

Disclaimer: All characters, except from the Owl, belongs to Rowling.

A/n: I know the idea has been done. It's a simply, but good idea, so of course it has been used.

But I will try to make it different then at least the version I have read.

I'll try to make the base different. And the flashbacks- they I believe are different.

Flashbacks.

Walking down the street of the small town near my home, I never saw it coming.

How could I? It was just an ordinary day. I'de gotten a part-time job at the local book shop, and the noone in the town _knew_. They didn't know my secret, and there was no reason why they would find out. I had a good arrangement now- I have build myself a cage in my basement, and I lived so far away from everyone else, that no one could ever hear my screaming.

All in all, life were looking good.

It was five years ago my life had been torn apart, so I was getting over it.

Five years.

The first had been horrible. Loosing your four best friends and their son in one night is a.. challenging experience. Unfortunately, I was rather good at dealing with pain. Still, it took me a year to get over the worst, and another year to stop thinking that much about it.

Now, I was fine. Surely, it came to my mind every now and then, and I sent flowers to the Potters grave once a year, on the day. And I thought about Harry, and how he must be doing, specially around the time of his birthday.

I remembered that day perfectly- everyone had been so happy.

I've never seen either Lily, James or Sirius that happy, ever before. Can't remember ever being happier myself, either.

I remember Sirius the best. He was glowing.

Suddenly, as I looked in a shop window, and spotted a tiny little pair of shoes, I started hearing voices. Happy voices. Our voices.

"_Oh Lily, he's beautiful!"_

"_He is, isn't he, Remus."_

"_Looks like his father, you know."_

"_Can I hold him, Lily?"_

"_Sure you can, Sirius."_

"_Hi little fellow! You know guys, he actually does manage to look like James AND be beautiful at the same time. Don't ask me how."_

"_Sirius!"_

"_Hey Lill, don't you think it's time we tell James who the real father is?"_

"_Oh, I don't know, Sirius, is it?"_

"_Yes Lill. I think it is."_

"_You know I would have beat the shit out of you if you weren't holding my son, right Sirius?"_

"_Yup! Oh, Remus, come and look! He is gripping my finger!"_

"_Naaw.. yeah, your right.. I s'pose he know who his daddy is..."_

"_Remus! Not you too!"_

"_Good one, Remus. They never saw it coming."_

I smiled as I stared blankly into the window. Sirius had kept that joke up for months- all up until he was imprisoned, really.

But of course there was no question of who little Harrys father was. Sirius liked making people think so, though. I guess it was because he loved that little boy so much- that was what I told people, anyway. Now I realize it could have been a part of his cover, pretending Harry meant the world to him.

For goodness sake, the Potters even made him godfather! Oh, that day he truly _was_ on cloud nine.

"_Godfather, Remus! They asked me to be him godfather!"_ Yes, his joy that day had been genuine. Perhaps it was one of his sick joys- or perhaps, as I force myself to believe, he really did care about Harry.

I have to believe he did, because if he didn't care about Harry, then he certainly didn't.. no, I don't want to think about that. It will only bring me down.

Snapping back into reality, I continued down the street.

From the park somewhere, a dog was barking insanely. Like this was some kind of a key, my mind snapped back into my Hogwarts days.

_I was sitting on a bench one warm spring day, reading for my history assignment. _

_Out of the blue, a large, black dog leaps onto me, barking like his life depended on it. I laughed, put my book down, and started scratching the dog behind it's ear. The dog stops barking, and wags it's tail like crazy, trying with all it's force to lick my face. I am, still laughing, knocked off the bench, and the two of us, boy and dog, keep rolling around on the ground. My wolf instincts has kicked in, and the two of us engage in a friendly dog fight. _

"_Ah, got no one else to be with than a stupid dog, do you Lupin?" The mocking voice of Severus Snape comes surprising on both of us- we had been to busy playing._

_I immediately grab hold of my furry friend, just as the dog is about to attack Snape._

"_Go away, Snape.." I mutters, holding the dog in a firm grip._

Back in reality, I can't help but smiling from the memory of Padfoot, but stop, and take my glasses off. _What the crap is wrong with me, today? I don't do this, I don't have these kind of flashbacks.._

Walking slowly over to a bench, I focus on not letting my mind slip. Sitting down, I start thinking about what could have triggered this.

Suddenly, it started again, before I had gotten any closer to finding out why.

I could feel the warm breeze, even though the summer was ending.

In stead of the street, I saw pages, pages of parchment. My handwriting on it. Mine, and Peters.

_We were sitting under our favourite three. I was helping Peter with his homework, James was watching Lily Evans over by the lake, and Sirius.. was bored._

_Suddenly, the Potter family owl, Orley, appeared over our heads, and threw a package in the middle of our little group. It was a little bigger then a quaffle, and wrapped in pretty scarlet paper._

"_My birthday present!" James called, shifting his attention from Lily to the package._

_Before any one of us could blink, Sirius was up on his feet, the package gone and Sirius no where to be seen._

_James stared at where the package had been, before Sirius had ran off with it._

_I could clearly see disaster coming._

"_SIRIUS!" James beloved. "COME BACK HERE! NOW!"_

_There was no reply, but I started to get the sneaking feeling that Sirius had simply ran over to the other side of the three, where we wouldn't be able to see him. There was no where else he would have been time to get._

"_SIRIUS!" James beloved again, this time attracting the attention of the girls down by the lake._

"_It's not your birthday 'till tomorrow, Prongs!" a familiar voice sounded._

_James got to his feet, and ran around the three, clearly having got the same feeling as me._

_No Sirius to be seen._

"_Give me my present!" James called._

_I saw that the girls were staring at us._

"_James, perhaps you should let him hold it until tomorrow..." I tried quietly._

"_Hah! No way!" James called. "Padfoot, if you don't give me my present this instant, I will skin you alive!"_

_There was a sigh, and James present fell into his head._

_Seconds later Sirius jumped down from the tree, almost straight into my lap._

_He was looking sulky._

"_You're no fun, Prongs. No fun at all."_

Remembering the shock of suddenly almost having him on my lap, I shook my head. The wind blew a couple of leaves by my nose- the first ones I had seen this year.

Sirius and presents. I came to think of the third Christmas we spent at Hogwarts. Before I could stop it, I was back there.

_Sirius had given James his Christmas present early, as he had to go back to his family in the holidays. James could of course not wait to see what his friend had got him, so the moment Sirius was out of the castle, he opened his present._

"_Don't you think you should wait?" I asked my friend, watching him rip off another 'Do not open until Christmas' mark._

"_Nah, Sirius'll never-"_

_BOOM! _

_The whole present had blown up in James face. Face black, he made a annoyed sound._

"_Damn that boy, and his sense of humour! He didn't trust me to wait, so he gave me a trick present!" James tried to make the rest of the present turn off the sound of Sirius' laughing voice._

"_He was right, wasn't he?" I asked him, trying not to smile to widely._

"_Oh, turn that smile off, will you Moony?" James told him grumpily._

Shaking my head again, I it started to damn on me why this was happening. It was the first of September. It was exactly fifteen years ago, I met Sirius and James for the first time, on the Hogwarts express. Shaking thoughts of that day away, I managed to stop the flashbacks.

"That was back then, Remus." I told myself. "Let the past be the past, or you will drive yourself insane."

But still, was that really true? Was it not rather so, that the past will catch you up, as you run faster?

Yeah, I suppose it is.

"Honouring the past, and their memories, without letting it take over my life..?"

So that I did. For another seven years I kept the past, in the past. Without forgetting it.

Then I was offered a job teaching at Hogwarts.

Sirius escaped.

And I was seeing Harry every day.

But I managed to keep the flashbacks away.


End file.
